Monday, April 21, 2014

Is the World Becoming More Kinky?

When I performed a preview production of my show, Coming Out Kinky – A Grown Up Story, a wonderful thing happened. I was contacted by a member of the audience who asked about investing in the show. I was on a cloud of joy and optimism: “Wow,” I thought. “That was so easy! I’ll be able to put up a longer production of the play and so soon!”
At my first lunch meeting with the investor, the conversation took an unexpected turn. Given that his professional background was in continuing education for therapists, he asked me if I’d be interested in performing the show as part of a class to teach therapists about kink. “My show can help therapists?!” I thought. A soothing feeling of legitimacy spread through my body – maybe what I was doing was important to the world after all.
My decision a few years ago to share Coming Out Kinky publicly felt like a step into an abyss. Will people want to hurt me? What will happen to my career? My Mom fretted about these concerns and I comforted her – inwardly just as worried as she. As foolhardy as my decision to expose my unique sex life openly seemed to me, I felt called to do it anyway.
Now, I was teaming up with a sex therapist to create a class. Given that my day job is as a corporate seminar leader, my worlds were indeed integrating. But hey, what about my dream of a longer production of my play? I’d spent 18 months developing the show for a public audience. My investor seemed less and less interested in that expensive venture and I was left with a challenge in front of me.
I knew that ambitious, creative people were posting their projects on websites like Kickstarter and Indiegogo, inviting the world to support them. I was terrified to do it. If I went this route, I could no longer share my show with a select group of local friends – people who I knew wouldn’t judge me harshly. If I launched a crowdfunding campaign, I would have to tell everyone. This meant coming out on Facebook, blogging, giving radio interviews and being visible like never before.
How would I be received?
I launched the campaign with an upbeat video and lots of photos to explain the show’s story. Here are the gifts that resulted:
  • * High school acquaintances on Facebook have stepped forward to “like” and enthusiastically support me
  • * My conservative friends and relatives have expressed that though they don’t fully understand what I’m doing, they love me and want me to be happy
  • * I was invited to be a guest on Playboy Radio
  • * My campaign received visits from Europe, the Netherlands and Brazil; one contributor came from Ethiopia!
  • * I raised over $12,000 and now can proudly announce the World Premiere of my show in Los Angeles in May and June of 2014

Running a successful crowdfunding campaign taught me that there is an appetite for candid stories about sexuality. More specifically, I’ve learned that kink is ready to come out of the closet. I am a respected professional, beloved daughter, affectionate sister and compassionate friend. I am also kinky as hell. The world seems ready for me, for this message and for my show.
Here’s are details about the World Premiere of Coming Out Kinky - tickets are available and selling fast.

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This blog was written as a guest post for the splendid, provocative website

Thursday, April 3, 2014

OMX – A Conference About Orgasmic Meditation

Can you picture hundreds of people in a big room? Great. They are separated into couples. Now add this: the women are lying on blankets that are set up neatly row after row. Each woman is on her back with her head supported by a pillow. Every woman is nude from the waist down. Do I have your attention? And every partner is fully clothed and sitting on her right side nestled close to her. Each partner is wearing gloves and is gently stroking her vulva – specifically her clitoris.  Facilitators with microphones are walking amidst the rows guiding the process, offering instructions every step of the way.

This was the wild experience of OMX – the Orgasmic Meditation Conference that was held last weekend in Oakland, California with up to 1,500 people in attendance.

With dozens of these mini-meditations under my belt over the course of months, I’ve become used to OMing in groups. In this room full of women and men, I felt comfortable, curious and alert.  Before we began the practice, my OM partner and I looked into each other’s eyes. We both knew that our participation in this ritual was equal parts bizarre and wonderful.

Later that morning, in a conference hall, Naomi Wolf gave a keynote talk. Wolf is a feminist scholar, author of the books The Beauty Myth and Vagina, and my personal hero. She acknowledged that she speaks publicly often and it’s rare to see women’s faces shine as ours in the audience were shining. A turned-on woman is a beautiful site to behold. And this strange meditation quietly (and then not so quietly) has the affect of lighting women up from the inside. I am one such woman.

I’ve made a commitment to do this practice three times a week for my wellness and sexual health. I am noticing more boldness emerging. This is a really good thing. The world needs more bold women and supportive men to help us get there. I had a marvelous time at this unique and delightful conference.  And I’ll never forget how it feels to be in a room with hundreds of women feeling pleasure – all at the same time.

 Here I am holding the up the back of the conference guide - says it all, huh?

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Kinky Curious and It's Okay

I'm teaching my first public, kinky-themed class! It's in Ventura, California at the sexy boutique, The Kama Sutra Closet.

·     Ready for an enticing evening with like-minded friends?
·     Interested in talking about kinky sex in a safe and welcoming environment?
·     Want to see a portion of the sexy play, Coming Out Kinky?

Then mark your calendars - this workshop is for you!
Sunday, April 6, 7pm-9pm. It’s going to be an educational and exciting evening. Here’s what we’ll do:

Opening Circle – We’ll create a safe, comfortable environment to talk about sex

Coming Out Kinky – Jean will perform a sizzling excerpt of her show about erotic exploration and empowerment

The Sexual Bucket List Game – A fun way to discover avenues of kinky curiosity 

Story Sharing – A few voluntary group members will be invited to share their own sexy stories

About Your Presenter: Jean Franzblau is the writer/performer and producer of the play, Coming Out Kinky - A Grown Up Story. When she was a little girl, Jean believed that sex must be bad and made the impossible commitment to never be sexual. The show tracks her unusual path of exploration as she discovers that sex is a natural and wonderful part of the human experience. Jean Franzblau is also a corporate training professional. She has given presentations on topics such as customer service, communication and stress management in six countries for up to three hundred people. Find her on FacebookTwitter and LinkedIn. Get tickets to the show here.

Thursday, March 13, 2014

Smoking Hot - First Kiss

In the past few days, this YouTube video got over 38 million hits. Three of them were mine. I had to find out the story behind this beautiful piece of art. A fashion designer, Melissa Coker, wanted a creative way share her work and thought of creating a "fashion film." She and filmmaker Tatia Pilieva thought of this genius yet simple idea: pair up strangers and ask them to kiss. They shot it in one day. The result is wow.

Monday, March 3, 2014

Girl Boner Interview: The Lovable, Clitoris

I'm honored to have been one of two Beauty of a Woman BlogFest winners who were chosen to be interviewed by the incomparable August McLaughlin.

August created the Girl Boner Radio show!
The topic of our talk: The clitoris, self esteem, body wisdom, Coming Out Kinky and a special reading of my Love Letter to My Clit. Ready to take a visit to iTunes to listen? Here's the link. The show is called "The Highly Sensitive Clitoris."

Sunday, February 23, 2014

A Love Letter to My Clit

My Darling Clitoris,

When I was younger and angrier, I was jealous of men. Men seemed to have such explosive, mind-bending orgasms. “Not fair!” I thought. What I didn’t know was that by being born a woman, I was gifted with the only body part whose function was pure pleasure. That, my sweet, is you. You’ve got an average of 8,000 sensory nerve endings. (The penis has 4,000!) The result is that when touched in just the right way, you are a bringer of delight.

I want to apologize, dear one, for approaching you in the past without much attention or care. Time and again I’ve wanted to feel good and just reached down and rubbed creating not-so-nice friction. Only last year did I learn the proper way to approach you – with lubricant! Just a little dab of lube or saliva and you melt into a gift of yumminess. How do you do it?

I just looked you up on Wikipedia. Whoa, you are complex!

“The clitoris [has] external and internal components. It consists of the glans, the clitoral body or shaft…the clitoral hood, two erectile bodies known as the corpora cavernosa, two clitoral crura and the vestibular or clitoral bulbs.”

Remember how I thought that you were somehow different and I felt “less than” and blogged about it? (Twice!) I thought you were too small! Now I know that you are perfect just as you are.

In fact, you’ve become such an important part of my life, that I’ve made a promise to myself to practice Orgasmic Meditation three times a week. As you know quite intimately by now, Orgasmic Meditation is a fifteen-minute experience where I relax into a nest of pillows and my OM partner strokes you with the tip of his left index finger. He wears gloves, and uses special, natural lubricant. And during those mini-sessions, you give us such adventures of connection, energy, intuition and creativity. You are more powerful than just a body part! Tapping into your current seems to create a doorway, a portal to something else, something spiritual and mysterious. I am in awe of you and your whole vulva package!

This week, three mornings in and row in bed, you and I have had some special moments haven’t we? Each climax creates a feeling of wholeness and happiness – all before 7:00am! Have I told you how much I appreciate you?

This morning, I raise a glass of smoothie and make a toast to you:

To my gorgeous healthy clitoris - my pleasure point, my sensation center, my delicious dot – to you.

To us.

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This blog is part of the Beauty of a Woman BlogFest III created by August McLaughlin. To participate, click this link and get ready for fun, inspiration, laughter, tears and more. You may also win a $50 gift card for dropping by.

Saturday, February 15, 2014

Oh No! Herpes on Vacation.

I was minutes away from our rendezvous point – Penny’s All American Café in Pismo Beach.  The word “rendezvous” has never in my life been as appropriate as this moment. 

My lover – we’ll call him Alphonse as he has an equally delicious French name – was coming from the San Francisco area. I was driving from Los Angeles. This would be our final few days together before he completes his three-month United States road trip and heads back to his life in Canada. I represented one of the many great things that happened to Alphonse in California. I felt just as lucky to meet him.

Alphonse and I have fantastic chemistry and many things in common. If we’re not making love, we are talking. I haven’t seen him in weeks. And in just two minutes, we will embrace on the sidewalk like in a romantic movie and begin our lover’s holiday.

Until. My GPS says one more minute. At a stoplight I adjust my rearview mirror to put on some lipstick. And then I noticed something I really didn’t want to notice: a sore spot in my mouth. I’m a sex-positive woman. I know what I know and I can’t un-know what I know. That sore spot is probably a cold sore. A cold sore is a polite way of saying herpes – the pesky virus that I’ve had since I was a kid. A cold sore means that I’m capable of spreading herpes to others by sharing utensils or a glass or kissing. Fuck.

Alphonse and I have had our talk about STDs. Each of us has been tested in the past six months. I – as I typically do – shared with him that I have oral herpes. What I can’t remember in this moment is if he has oral herpes, too.

I am two blocks from the café and I park. I call Alphonse on his cell. He says, “I’m here! Where are you?”

“Can you remind me – do you have oral herpes?”

“What? Where are you?”

“I’m a minute away; just answer - do you have oral herpes?”

“No. What’s going on?”

“I have a cold sore. When we see each other, I can’t kiss you.”


“We’ll work around it; now will you get your tiny butt to this café right now?”

We had our sidewalk moment – awkwardly kissing each other on the neck rather than the lips. 

I had a wonderful time with Alphonse – hanging out on the beach, long talks, hours of intimacy and big breakfasts in the morning. We worked around my cold sore - no problem.

                                   We hung out on the benches overlooking the sea at this park.

I’m proud of myself for handling this herpes thing with clarity and integrity. If I chose to “forget” that the cold sore meant what it meant, I may have given Alphonse oral herpes. If I went down on him, I could have given him genital herpes as well. A horrible thought.

Herpes is common and nothing to be ashamed of. What helps is to understand it and communicate with one’s sexual partner about it. Through our Pismo Beach experience, I learned that Alphonse was adaptable and compassionate. I also learned that my vulnerability was in good hands.

I leave you with with a top notch educational herpes video from the sexologist, Dr. Lindsay Doe.

                                          Who knew herpes could be so darn cute?